martes, 11 de noviembre de 2008

Finale

Parece que el blog quedará abadonado por un tiempo. Por un tiempo indeterminado. Se retiraron las razones para escribir al menos por el momento. Quizá vuelva quizá no. Dejo este último texto.

Empiezo a desconfiar de mi suerte. Es un hecho, el mundo se ha vuelto hostil. Periódicamente, circularmente, se rompe el cristal. La coraza estalla en mil astillas que desintegran todo lo demás. Es un vicio de estos lugares. El bing bang eterno; la contracción-expansión-implosión-explosión como circuito del sistema nervioso central de este paraje.

Cada tanto alguien se va; o vuelve. Todo el tiempo los ratoncitos giran y giran la ruedita con los ojos desorbitados y las pulsaciones a punto de romperles el corazón que ya tiraron como alimento a las alimañas.

Como un pensador de Rodin, pero más encorvado, elucubro ¿Dónde está todo aquello que no está? Quién se lo robó. Dónde está escondido. ¿Es que se esfumó así como así? ¿Es posible que así sea? Que los vientos nuevos empujen a los vientos viejos está muy bien. ¿Pero qué traen las nuevas brisas?

Qué fue de la música que nos servía de banda sonora de nuestras vidas. Que fue de la comunidad rara esa donde confluía todo en un punto. Cuáles son las coordenadas. En qué momento exacto brillar durante esas noches se transformó en ahogarse en humo y fuego. ¿Donde está el rock? Ese que no era sólo música si no entrañaba algo más, un poco más: entrañaba sueños. ¿Es que tan desfasado quedó aquel clima de rock y candombes y calores y placeres que no implicaban casi- casi- dolor? Cómo fue que no vimos que durante la fiesta las caras estaban poniéndose lívidas y ya hasta los vampiros se quedaban sin sangre. ¿Como fue que la ciudadela cayó?

Que fue de los cafés en donde se arremolinaba lo mejor y lo peor pero no nos confundíamos sino que aclarábamos nuestras ideas. Esos cafés donde no vendían hamburguesas. Vendían café; y ginebra. Qué fue de esas charlas, de los intentos de cambio de sistema, de la amistad forjada entre discusiones casi a muerte zanjadas con una sonrisa y la vuelta a los sueños.

Donde quedó el amor que implicaba todo eso. Cuándo todo se hizo más y más frío. Gélidos todos, insensibles, chocándonos. Corriendo por llegar antes que los demás a lugares inciertos; infiernos más que paraísos.

Qué fue de quienes sin querer y sin saber nos fueron forjando en lo que luego sería un estilo de vida: la curiosidad. Que fue de la semilla de Polo, esa que se hundió en el barro de la marginalidad para brillar más que cualquier otra. Cómo es que ya no hay lugar para esa semilla o la simiente putrefacta de la Cerdos y Peces. ¿Dónde está el refugio que el deporte supo ser? ¿En las grandes corporaciones que operan para ubicar técnicos amigos en la selección? ¿Es que tan poco nos dura el influjo que se extingue en la nada? ¿En que momento los espectáculos se transformaron en los chimentos?

Dónde está el arte avasallador que, según vaticinios del Flaco, nadie resistiría. ¿Donde está? Quizá detrás de los panteones-galerías de arte repartidos por la ciudad. En cuál minuto los artistas se creyeron el cuentito de que todo está inventado y claudicaron a los inventos parciales o a los menjunjes posmodernos a la deriva Dónde está el arte y no la mera floritura

A veces pienso que es inútil preguntar esas cosas. Sin embargo, no se ve sopapa para este mundo. Metódicamente el mundo se va por el caño cloacal de esta era. Y no hay sopapa. Algunas otras veces pienso que es útil preguntar; para luego construir. La mayoría de las veces uno queda tan estupefacto, tan desfasado, que enmudece sus preguntas. Ese es el rigor mortis al que se debe escapar. Los sueños deberán mutar ante las circunstancias que se presentan. Cómo mutante voy, camaleónico: camuflado sin dejar de ser. Esta especie de radioactividad obliga a cerrar las almas y los corazones: como respuesta- casi anarquista, casi incendiaria, casi ingenua- elijo abrir el alma, abrir el corazón. Cómo si por efecto contrario- por huir hacia delante- la apertura y expansión contrarrestara ese repliegue a que obligan estos tiempos. Ya que nos empujan a abrigarnos a lo oscuro, propongo la recomposición del alma a través de la luz. Una luz interna que ilumine. Quizá así se encuentre la respuesta sobre las preguntas anteriores. O mejor: aquellas preguntas sean olvidadas ante la presencia de un mundo más suave.

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